Sorry if I offended anyone

Hmmmm I recieved a few emails lecturing me on modesty after my last post and I really don't see what on earth the problem is!! Those dresses I will wear with tights and a cardigan so what on earth am I showing?

Being a Christan doesn't mean being a clone, it doesn't mean that unless I wear an ankle length floral dress and cardigan than my salvation is not assured and it certainly doesn't say anywhere in the bible that fashion is a sin.

If you don't like what I wear then that's fine, don't wear it!!! But please don't send me emails telling me I am dressed as a prostitute when I am nearly fully covered. Sometimes it is far to easy to judge others then look at ourselves.

I am sorry if I offended you and I see I have already lost a few followers but being a Christian doesn't mean being forced into a tiny box that we all must conform to it means being set free!

Some new dresses!!

I know I haven't been posting as much as I should but in my defense I have been really busy!! On the upside the eating plan is going really well. I have barely any cravings for any junk but especially sugar. I am never hungry and always full of energy, I just leap out of bed in the mornings ready to start the day! I only started this as a ten day thing but because the benefits are so overwhelming I think I'll be giving up sugar for good and in the future really limiting my bread intake to twice a week. I think bread just limits my creativity anyway ;) why have a cheese and salad sandwich for lunch when you can have wholemeal penne salad with feta, spinach, cashews and a sun dried tomato sauce.

OK all these above dresses are ones I brought yesterday at a shop for under five dollars each. The black one is a size too small and it is my goal to fit into it before my sisters wedding in November. Now I will be spending a few hours altering these dresses! the necklines are way more plunging than I would ever dream of wearing so that will be the first thing I change. I have a few gorgeous cardigans to go with them already.

My muscles have repaired enough now so it's back to the gym first thing tomorrow! Hope you had a wonderful weekend ladies :)

Day Four

I'm writing this a little earlier in the day than usual but I am so very tired and have pulled a muscle in my shoulder and back and it is really painful! In case this seems like i'm giving up on the exercise I wont be i'll just be switching to Swimming and still sticking with the pilates. The best thing I have found is that when something appears to be setting you back use it to propel yourself to even greater heights!!

Today I had muesli and milk for breakfast. For lunch I had fruit, almonds and yogurt and for dinner I will have avocado sushi. I Haven't had very much to eat today because I haven't been feeling one hundred percent and went a did a circuit class this morning when I probably shouldn't have.

After sleep and a hot bath i'm sure i'll feel much better tomorrow!

Day three

Day three has been one of the hardest and one of the easiest in a few ways. One of the most physically demanding as this morning I cycled down to the gym, had a really hard spin class and then cycled home again and in the evening I had an intense boxing class (but I read they can burn 1000 calories an hour so was really happy to hear that).

Food wise it has been great! For breakfast I had a bowl of homemade muesli with yogurt and ground linseed, mor morning tea ten almonds, for lunch my orzo, leek and shittake salad and for afternnon tea I had ten more almonds and for dinner a huge green salad with assorted veges, orange, feta, walnuts and ground linseed.

Nearly all of the fat I consume comes from nuts, I always have skim milk and make my own skim yogurt. I generally stay away from oil because I want to keep my fat grams under fifty and nuts have so many more vitamins and minerals that oil generally does. I do however take a capsule of evening primrose oil everyday because it keeps my skin in perfect condition!

Today I sat next to my friends eating mcdonalds and didn't even feel slightly tempted to have any!!! I love these little things I overcome!

Day two

Today has been a good day! Started the day off with my favourite green smoothie and 15 almonds, morning tea was 6 walnut halves and half a glass of milk and for lunch was the above salad made from orzo,shiitakes, orange and leeks. That salad was so amazingly good! I will definitely be having that again tomorrow. For afternoon tea I had an apple and yogurt and for dinner well I really wasn't that hungry so I just had a few pieces of sushi and my left over green smoothie with some protein powder added.

Today I ran the furthest I ever have before! Afterwards I looked so disgusting and had to lie down for a few minutes but I did it!! I was so happy and just love going from strength to strength! Tomorrow I have a spin class and a boxing class so I'll be really careful about eating enough protein tomorrow.

Day one

I weighed myself today and the damage wasn't as bad as I had thought, I'm still the lightest I have been in nearly ten years. But since I have been overweight since I was about eight I still have a long way to go :)

I didn't eat as much as usual today because I had only gotten about two hours sleep (I have terrible insomnia) and when I'm tired I just don't feel like eating much.

I started the day with a green smoothie (made with various fruits and greens and water) and then about 1:30 I had a protein shake and a banana, after my workout at about 4.30 I had ten almonds and for dinner I had 6 pieces of Quinoa Sushi and a salad made from mixed greens, walnuts, feta, orange and caramelised onions.

I had a very good workout at the gym and decided today that instead of taking the car anywhere in the town I live that instead I will cycle (unless it is pouring with rain) I will get fitter and save on petrol!

No challenges today but I know tomorrow will present one, every Tuesday I go to my Mums house and usually have chocolate biscuits and chippies, not good! Tomorrow I'm taking my own afternoon tea. I believe Dr Phil when he says that you cannot lose weight by will power, it's all about preparation and environment.

My ten day challenge

As of tomorrow I start my ten day challenge! The rules for the next ten days are as follows

1.) no sugar

2.) no cheese (except cottage cheese and occasionally low fat feta)

3.) no bread or pasta or white rice

4.) nothing processed

5.) drink ten glasses of water per day

6.) start everyday with a 45 minute pilate workout (except Sunday)

7.) do an hour of cardio every evening (except for Sunday)

8.) Do an hour of strength training three times per week

9.) No caffeine

Simple right??

Except not if you're a naturally lazy girl who loves her carbs. I know that I do more exercise than most of my friends combined however I often would rather be cuddling under my duvet and reading then running for 10 kms, well that's until the endorphins hit and then there is nothing I would rather be doing!!

I am doing this challenge with one of my friends, we are in a competition to see who will lose the most in the first week and i'm sincerly hoping I beat him!

Each day I will update with my food diary and sometimes a recipe.

Good luck to me!!

Sushi

I am determined to get some recipes down this morning because people keep asking for them! I have only had three hours sleep and I need to go for a run soon but see how dedicated I am to my blog ;)

I looooooove Sushi, I eat it all the time and in many combinations. I never get sick of it!

What you need

Since I am vegetarian I am only going to list what I have in mine but feel free to add whatever you desire. The fillings I don't have all at once I just select a few.

Nori sheets (these I buy in packs of 25 from Moore Wilsons which is far far cheaper)

Cooked rice (I always use brown rice but lately I have been having quinoa for variety)

Sushi vinegar

Finely cubed cucumber

Grated Carrot
Slices of avocado

Slivers of onion

Marinated tofu

Alfalfa sprouts

Slices of omelet

Mung beans

Pickled Ginger (optional)

Soy sauce

Wasabi (optional again)

You will find a bamboo mat useful but you don't strictly need one.

Cook the rice, when finished stir in the sushi vinegar (or a mixture of rice vinegar and sugar) and leave to cool. Place a nori sheet on the bamboo mat and dampen the end of about 1 and a hald cm, wet your hands and pick up a handful of the rice and press it evenly all over the surface of the nori (except where the dampened edge is) place fillings about an inch down from the side closest to you in a horizontal line. Then it's time to roll, make sure you do it firmly or you will have all your fillings falling out everywhere!

Cut 1 cm off both ends to make it tiday and then cut into 7 pieces! I love mine with soy sauce and Wasabi (but not too much) this really takes minutes to prepare and I have it for lunch every second day. If I don't then I really start craving it!

I'm not that girl anymore

A lot of people freaked out when I cut my hair off, they couldn't understand why I had cut my long, dark hair that had taken me so many years so grow.

They just didn't get it.......

And who could blame them really, long hair is a rarity these days in a world of bleached, over processed hair.

However I am not the same girl I once was and I know this in my heart and had to make it visual so that everytime I looked in the mirror I would remember that I wasn't that girl anymore.

The one who lived more for mens approval than for Christ's approval, the one who was never excited about life and lived in dread of being alone forever. The one who stayed inside hidden in books or the internet instead of truly living life.

The sad, sad girl who never accepted herself for her she was and continually thought that only is she was thinner, smarter or a harder worker than she would be accepted by all.

I know now I don't need to be accepted by the world, I only need to be accepted by God. God made me the way I am and he loves for for it. This is who I am and this is who God loves! I am his daughter and I am me!!!

New hair

I did it!! Scarily enough I chopped about 40 cm off my hair and dyed it blonde. I was so scared to do it but now feel great. Almost like I chopped off my past along with my hair ;)

Oat, date and coconut slice

I love slices! But as per usual do not love the fat and sugar that usually accompanies them, this one is so great because it's filling, good and for you and takes next to no time to make.

If you are not worried about calories you could make a lemon icing to drizzle over it :)

Coconut, Oat and Date Slice
1 cup plain flour

2 cups rolled oats

1 cup shredded, dessicated coconut

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup finely chopped dried dates
2 tbsp canola oil

3 tbsp golden syrup

1 heaped tbsp nut butter

2 tbsp brown sugar

rind of one lemon (optional)
1/3 cup low fat soy milk
Mix the first set of ingredients in a mixing bowl.Stir the second set of ingredients in a small saucepan over low heat, until it gets all nice and melty and liquid.Mix the soy milk into the stuff in the saucepan.Add the wet to the dry and mix well (you’ll probably need to use your hands for this).Press evenly into a 27x19cm baking tray that has been lined with baking paper.With a sharp knife, press into the mixture to make 16 slices, not cutting through the whole way, just to help dividing it up later on.Bake for about 20-30 mins @ 180, or until nice and browned.Once out of the oven, re-cut the whole way through the lines you made previously.Remove each piece and cool on a rack.

If you are not vegan then you don't have to use soy milk. I actually didn't use the dried coconut but instead of canola oil used coconut oil. I also didn't use the brown sugar or golden syrup but instead put in a little date syrup

Blueberry chocolate cake

I have been experimenting a lot lately with different recipes especially ones that have very little sugar and fat. So yesterday I made oat, date and lemon slice and also experimented with miniature baked spring rolls, both of which are delicious. I will post the recipes this week some time.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you are trying to lose weight then there is no reason at all why you should have to miss out on delicious food, it just means getting a little more creative which is all part of the fun anyway. This morning Aviva and I made this vegan blueberry chocolate cake, I am not a vegan but it is something I am seriously thinking about with increasing regularity.

This cake is so great because it has no refined sugar or oil, refined sugar tends to make me really lethargic so I do avoid it, instead I make date syrup which is done very simply by boiling dates in water and then blending them. It is very sweet so I use it sparingly in recipes.

My recipe was slightly different from the original because I only had frozen blueberries, so instead of putting fresh blueberries on top like the recipe suggested, I topped mine with a blueberry coulis made from 2 T of date syrup, 3/4 cup of frozen blueberries and the juice of one lemon and then just blending it all.

Chocolate Blueberry Cake

1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour (white whole wheat preferred)
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground chia seeds or flax seeds
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup water
1/2 cup blueberries
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup date syrup, maple syrup, or other liquid sweetener
1 cup blueberries (for serving)
additional syrup or agave nectar to taste

Preheat oven to 350 F. In a medium bowl, mix flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, chia (or flax) and salt. In blender, combine water, 1/2 cup blueberries, and balsamic vinegar and blend until smooth.

Make a well in the dry ingredients. Add the syrup and the blueberry mixture. Stir until completely mixed. Pour into an oiled 9-inch round cake pan.

Bake 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely before inverting onto serving platter.

Serve with blueberries on top, drizzled with additional syrup or agave. (I recommend agave for drizzling.)

Servings: 8

Nutrition Facts
Nutrition (per serving): 144 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.2g total fat, 0mg cholesterol, 217.1mg sodium, 204mg potassium, 33.6g carbohydrates, 4.4g fiber, 14.9g sugar, 3.6g protein, 2.2 points.

Real girls eat REAL food

Granted this is not the most flattering photo of me :) (I had just come home from a long run) however I use it to illustrate the point that you do not need to starve yourself, cut out all carbohydrates or eat food that comes prepacked in cardboard boxes from the frozen foods section of the supermarket aisle to lose a large amount of weight.

In fact I don't believe that's normal or healthy. So far I have lost 35 kilos (75 pounds) and I certainly didn't do it by starving myself in any way. Everyday I eat huge amounts of fruit and vegetables, moderate amounts of protein and carbohydrates and small amounts of fats and refined sugars but I am never hungry. Once a week I do have something I want like some french fries or a chocolate croissant and the rest of the time I make delicious, healthy meals that I look forward to eating. The thing about diets is that they don't ever work because in real life they just don't hold up for long and then you gain the weight back plus extra. Maybe some people can live the rest of their lives eating only cottage cheese and celery or never eating bread or pasta but I can tell you right now I'm not one of them.Sometimes I do slip up and eat more than I should of but I lace up my running shoes, get out there and make better choices the next day.

Because I get emails from time to time from people asking me how I did it I just want to say. There is no magic cure. Instead it's all about eating moderately and well. Cut out the white foods and processed stuff from your diet and start drinking lots of water and green tea. Make little changes at at a time and before you know you will look and feel amazing.

At the beginning of last year I was huge, miserable and looked at least six months pregnant even though I wasn't. Below is a photo showing me at the weight I was, not a pretty picture!





This is me now both photos were taken within the last two weeks. I still haven't lost all I want to however I am fit, healthy and I can hold my head up high!

A small break

I haven't been around for a little while and will continue to be away for a little while longer.

While I seemed to be getting better about a week and a half ago my mind just kind of snapped and so I am going to spend this time taking my medication and just focusing on each day getting a little stronger.

I really love this Russian Proverb which I have been focusing on

" Pray to God but continue to row to shore"

A letter to myself

This has been a really hard week for me, in many respects. You know just when you think you're over it? I found on Monday that my husband (and we are still officially married) has a girlfriend and has had one for some time, even when we were together.

When I first saw the photos I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, for the first few days I pretty much just stayed in bed and cried, I didn't eat and I barely slept and it was really hard. I just couldn't think why he chose her and not me.

But then I remembered a few things

Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one you have with yourself

Don't glorify the past

What do I believe about myself that I would think I would honestly deserve someone who lies, cheats , left me when I was pregnant and continues to cause pain and destruction

Leaving Carrie Underwood Cd's on repeat is an excellent idea ;)

Another thing I did this morning is write a long letter to myself from a year from now. So in theory writing about the awesome things that will happen a year from now. I will leave some excerpts from it, but not all cause some of it is kind of embarrassing :)

The point in your life of meeting O was so that you actually learned to live your life, instead of waiting to get married so that your life was complete. And live it you will!!
One day you are going to meet the most amazing man that you wont believe he is actually real. This man opens doors for you, makes you laugh and arranges picnics on the beach at sunset. He loves the Lord, loves Aviva and would willingly die for you both. But because he is so awesome he deserves a whole person and not half of one. And that is who you are going to become, I promise.

So sweetheart get up out of that bed, tidy your room and paint your nails. Because you are only going to regret this time wasted over him one day, he doesn’t deserve it and your life is soon going to become to fantastic that it will replace all the painful times that ever happened to you. Remember that time that that woman wrote to you and told you that the Lord will replace what the Locusts had eaten. Well that was totally a prophetic word to you if ever there was one.

So chin up! I can’t wait until you see what your future brings, The Lord has his own amazing surprises for you! Just wait and see.

I so hope that in writing this that I can encourage one day anyone else going through the same kind of pain. God is so good, and his love truly does endure forever.

Winter soup

I am a big fan of soup, I cook it all the time and in fact it has been a big help in helping me lose weight. It is really cheap to make and I love that you can make it by cleaning out the contents of your fridge! I eat soup nearly everyday for lunch, I make it in a huge pot and freeze it in smaller portions to make it even easier. Also it means if visitors come by unexpectedly for lunch I can whip it out and have it bubbling away in no time.

Below are two super easy vegetarian recipes for soup. They are a good way of introducing pulses to your diet if you haven't eaten many of them previously. In winter I always add extra onions, garlic and fenugreek and to date Aviva and I haven't had a cold or flu in nearly a year (I also think our very low consumption of sugar helps as well)

Split pea soup

8 c. water
2 c. split peas
1 onion chopped (I added a few chopped garlics as well)
3 carrots chopped
3 ribs of celery chopped
1 bay leaf
salt to taste

Put all into a crock pot in the morning on medium high. It is done by late afternoon!

Lentil soup

1 c. lentils
1/3 c. rice
1 1/2 qts. water
1 big can of chopped tomatoes
2 grated carrots
1 chopped onion
Salt & Pepper to taste
Pinch or two of cayenne pepper
1 t. oregano & 1 bay leaf


Cook for 45 minutes to 1 hour, then add soy sauce to taste and let cook another 15 minutes.

Sorry there are no photos, something is wrong with my camera and the photos aren't looking very good at all.

A week of surprises

It has been a week of surprises around here! The first one was on Monday when a huge bag of make-up arrived. Here are a just few of the lip glosses...

But also included in the bag was an assortment of nail polishes, bronzers, eye make-up and foundations. And also quite randomly this tea......

I love my Auntie Jendy and the perks of her job! Giving me a bag of make-up is like giving a child a giant sack of sweets ;)

Also out of nowhere I am looking after several children these holidays, which means that I can earn some extra money (even though I would have done it for free). One of the children coming is a little girl who I look after two days a week, having other peoples children in your house is such a great way to teach them about Jesus. R and Aviva get on so well and it also teaches Aviva about caring for younger children as there is a three and a half year age gap between them.

Aviva and R

And lastly I really needed a new vaccum cleaner as mine broke down a few weeks ago, so I prayed hard that I would find one second hand. So I went down today and low and behold there is one there! Also it was brand new and would normally cost $500 dollars, I couldn't believe it! (Actually I could because God is ALWAYS faithful) and so today Aviva has spent it vaccuming the house, I'm hoping the novelty doesn't wear off soon ;)

Broken dreams

There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 23:18

For the past five years I have had five goals

1. To be a wife
2. To be a mother to many children
3. To home school my children and in the process make passionate soldiers for Christ
4. To create a lovely home

Over the past year I have watched as all of these dreams has been smashed one by one. The last one to be broken is my house. I have put a lot of effort into this house to make it a home. I've planted tulips and daffodils along the borders, spent hours creating a massive vegetable garden. carefully chosen art from thrift shops to complement the walls and of course decorated it with various pieces of crystal, vintage linens and other beautiful ornaments. But after years of living here the Landlord is raising the rent to a huge amount and I have to leave, the only problem is that every place to rent in this Suburb is really expensive. But I need to stay here, my Mother needs taking care of and my part time job is local plus the school that I have enrolled Aviva in for next year is here (as it's the only Christian school for the next 30 kilometres).

My only option left is to apply for Government housing. You can not imagine how I do not want to do this. I cannot believe that as a university educated woman, I have to go and live with my precious daughter in the same area as gang members and Drug dealers (I know that these are not the only kinds of people living in this area but they certainly frequent a lot more than in other parts of society as wherever there is poverty, crime flourishes)
I cannot live at home as my mother thinks I am brainwashing my daughter (she thinks anyone who chooses to stay at home with their child is either stupid or lazy, me included)
I cannot understand how my life has sunk this low, after years of faithful service to Jesus I now have to face all of my dreams in a mangled, broken pile.

But God is a faithful God and he has not forgotten me or my dreams.

'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose'.
Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
Job 11:18

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Psalms 119:114

And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
2 Corinthians 1:70

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

Psalms 71:14

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.
Micah 7:7

Our God is not a God of disbelief he indeed is a God of Hope and Promise. My dreams may not be here today but that doesn't mean they are gone forever. God knows my heart and I truly believe that this time of trials is no enable me to one day help others going through similar things. He will be everything alright in the end, and I also firmly believe I have bigger and better things awaiting me, he can take those dreams and turn them into something more amazing than I ever hoped for.

May God take your own pile of ashes and change them into something beautiful.

Jesus, what a beautiful name

I love this song,we sung it at church this morning and I felt so blessed by it, it is going to be my goal to learn it by heart over the next few days.

My heart felt very heavy this morning but I sung this song and shut my eyes and pictured Jesus on the cross. With every bang on the hammer taking on the vile sins of the world, it certainly puts my own circumstances into perspective.

Anyway here are the lyrics, I hope they lighten your heart as they have mine.


Jesus, what a beautiful name
Son of God, Son of Man, Lamb that was slain
Joy and peace, strength and hope
Grace that blows all fear away
Jesus, what a beautiful name

Jesus, what a beautiful name
Truth revealed, my future sealed, healed my pain
Love and freedom, life and warmth
Grace that blows all fear away
Jesus, what a beautiful name

Jesus, what a beautiful name
Rescued my soul, my stronghold, lifts me from shame
Forgiveness, security, power and love
Grace that blows all fear away
Jesus, what a beautiful name

Joy and peace, strength and hope
Grace that blows all fear away
Jesus, what a beautiful name
Joy and peace, strength and hope
Grace that blows all fear away
Jesus, what a beautiful name

And the rain continues to fall

Again the rain is pouring down and the wind seems pretty angry too. I have spent a lovely morning out thrift shopping with friends only to have Aviva lock us out of the car! So we spent a good amount of time waiting in the rain for the AA to come.

As I write this the bath is filling up and I am about to have a good long soak complete with lavender oil, peppermint tea, candles and a great novel.

This afternoon I am going to sew Aviva a couple of skirts while she completes the dresses she is making for her countless Porcelain dolls. And tonight we will lie in front of the fire and watch a few DVDs we have rented (DVDs seem to be a big treat for us lately)

I don't mind the cold weather when it means I get to be a little less full on and busy and instead can quiet my heart and partake in activities my Grandmother would of (well minus the DVDs of course ;) )

Have a wonderful weekend!

Low fat hummus

Dear Peace- here is the recipe you asked for, I hope you and the children like it. I always make it in a triple batch and freeze the rest. P.s sorry for teasing you about your ugg boots yeaterday ;)

Hummus

1 cup of chickpeas

1-2 cloves of garlic

1 T lemon juice

1/2 cup plain yogurt

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp ground coriander

Put it all in a blender and blend!! You don't have to put the spices in but I love them.

Some of my favourites....

Because of my part time job I actually get given a whole lot of beauty and skin products to trail. I literally have shoe boxes of make-up, nail polish and assorted other things. But this is something that a friend recommended and I swear, I'm totally in love with it.

It's called Lucas's paw paw ointment and it is amazing stuff. I use it on everything- chapped lips, dry skin, burns, blisters, insect bites, you name it and I use it for that.

I brought a small container of it a year ago and I'm not even a quarter through it even though I use it constantly. Carry some in your handbag and your first aid box and you're set for life as it disinfects and heals!

Plus it's really inexpensive,100% natural and comes in all size containers. I know I sound like a sales rep for the stuff but I'm not, I just love it! And when I find something this great well I need to tell anyone who will listen ;)

Making yogurt and buttermilk (for Jules and Peace)

Making your my yogurt and buttermilk seems to save me quite a bit of money, It's so easy to do and you don't need any special equipment!

Making Yogurt

What you need

1 litre of milk ( full fat or low fat but NOT skim)

1-2 Tablespoons plain yogurt

a saucepan

wooden spoon

Preserving jar (or similar container)

a warm place to cultivate the yogurt

What to do

Put the milk in the saucepan and heat it until it is just boiling , watch it carefully though as it boils over quickly and makes a real mess! When it has cooled to blood temperature (and be careful with this as if it is too hot it will kill off the bacteria and if it is not warm enough it won't be enough for the growth to take place) The way I usually test it is to put my little finger in the milk and if it is a comfortable temperature after ten seconds then that's usually perfect for yogurt.

So when it has cooled take your yogurt and stir it into the milk until it has dissolved. Put it into your jar, wrap it in a blanket and leave in a warm place. I use an Ezi Yo yogurt maker, which you can buy from most thrift shops for a couple of dollars and it makes it so easier, but it's still not essential to make your own.

Leave to cultivate overnight or for 8-10 hours (it may take less time, it just depends)

Don't forget to save a few tablespoons of yogurt to start off the next batch you want to make

Making buttermilk

What you need

1 litre of low or full fat milk (again no skim milk)

1/2 cup buttermilk

Utensils as above

What to do

Exactly as the yogurt, except the cultivation time is longer, usually 12-24 hours.

Happy cultivating!

For the lovely Terry

I was going to do some fashion posts this week but instead as various people have asked me for recipes I'm going to focus on that instead. So today this bagel recipe is for my lovely friend Terry who is always encouraging and incredibly talented!

I love bagels so much, the recipe I'm given is only for twelve so often I will make double the batch and freeze them. I usually divide the dough into three and make one lot cinnamon, one plain and one blueberry but you can make whatever you want really, you're only limited by your own imagination.

I love mine with low fat cream cheese and tomato or jam if I want something sweet. I haven't eaten meat for nearly fifteen years so I don't remember what it tastes like but I have heard that smoked salmon with capers and cream cheese on bagels is amazingly good (and a great way to impress at a brunch)

I love to cook and as both my father and ex husband are chefs so great food is something that's always been around me.

Bagels

1/4 cup warm water

1 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp yeast granules

4-5 cups plain flour

1 tbsp salt

1 1/2 tsp sugar

1 1/4 cups warm water

2 tbsp molasses

1 egg, beaten

bowl of cold water

toppings such as poppy seeds, sesame seeds, rock or kosher salt

In a small bowl combine 1/4 cup of warm water, sugar and yeast.

In a large mixing bowl place the flour, salt, remainder of the sugar and warm water. When the yeast mixture is frothy. Add that to the flour and mix until combined, knead for 5-8 minutes.

Place the dough in a greased bowl and cover with a damp cloth and leave in a warm place until doubled.

When dough has risen, punch down and knead briefly and divide into twelve pieces. Heat a large pan of water to boiling point and preheat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius

Shape each piece of dough into a ball, poke a finger through the middle and gently stretch each bagel by placing fingers in the hole and gently working the bagel around in an anti-clockwise direction.

When all the bagels are formed add the molasses to the boiling water and then cook the bagels quickly for thirty seconds (don't worry if they turn lumpy they are supposed to!) remove from hot water and plunge into hot water.

When finished pre cooking them place in oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden.

Weigh day

Because several of my friends who are trying to lose weight read my blog, I am going to put my weight loss in every week, since I still have the rest the lose, and hopefully in the process inspire others that they can do it!

So this week I have lost two kilos (4.4 pounds) this is due to my new 1200 calorie food plan that I started a week ago. Also this week I am starting my training for the tough guy, tough gal competition so I expect my weight loss to drop a little due to muscle gain. It's important to remember that that there's a difference between fat loss and weight loss.

Also try not to weigh yourself more than once a week, it becomes an obsession and weight can fluctuate day by day, especially for women. You will get a much more accurate reading if you do it once a week.

And on an entirely different topic it's a beautiful day here today. The sun is out for the first time in about two months, so I'm going to make the most of it!

Low fat vegetarian Lasagne

As I write this a new recipe of mine is baking in the oven. I got this idea from the biggest loser recipe board but change it around. Sorry it's not exactly ordered or precise but that's not really my cooking style.

1 large jar of prepared pasta sauce ( I just made my own by throwing together some tomato paste, canned tomatoes, herbs, chili powder, garlic and onions)

Vegetables of any kind. Use what's in season, in the summer this would compromise of eggplants, courgettes, capsicum and anything else you have around. In winter spinach, carrots, tiny florets of broccoli and Kumera (sweet potatoes). Use as much as you would like.

4 sheets of wholemeal lasagna sheets

1 cup of cottage cheese or ricotta and 1/8 cup of milk

1/2 to 1 cup of lentils or beans (the original recipe said tofu but I'm not really a fan of that )

Salt and pepper to taste

You then just proceed to layer it like you would a normal lasagna. This one is full of fibre and protein but has no cholesterol or refined carbohydrates. It's perfect with a salad and freezes really well.

Happier times

Some of these moments above were the happiest in my life. And for a long time I wouldn't have been able to look at these photos without bursting into tears or feeling a huge amount of bitterness or regret.

And now...... I look back and am grateful for the time I had with my then husband. "Why?" people have asked me in a shocked tone.

Because since the age of sixteen (when I very foolishly moved in with my first boyfriend) I have always been in a relationship or wishing ferevently that I was. I was never OK just being alone, my only goals in life were to be a wife and mother and if that didn't happen, well then life wasn't worth living. I would forever be a failure, alone with my fifty cats and TV dinners.

I have spent my whole life trying to be someone elses idea of perfect that along the way I have forgot how to be myself.

When my Husband left me (all three times) it hurt more than anything else I have ever experienced. Worse than my sister commiting suicide, worse than my miscarriage, worse even than the time I was raped (sorry if this offends anyone but I'm just trying to be truthful).

But eventually I learned about aspects of myself that wouldn't have happened if he had never left me.

I turned all my pain into passion. In all of it I became the women who I had always dreamed of being but never felt I could.

Yesterday my daughter and I were in an unground carpark and this song came on that we both loved so we started dancing to it, right there in front of everyone. That wouldn't have happened even a year ago because a.) I would have cared too much what people think and b.) good christian women don't draw attention to themselves.

I feel so full of joy, that rarely anything brings me down anymore. I guess mainly because I feel like I don't need anyone to define me anymore (except Jesus of course).

If God chooses to bring me another Husband and children well then that's great. But if he doesn't? Even then what an awesome life i'll lead, I'll be thirty five when Aviva is eighteen and years of travel and adventures will still lie before me.

This is going to be the last post I will do on my husband or my marriage because from now on I want to look forward and not behind.

Because I have had a few comments from people before on how I should wait for my husband no matter how long it takes I do want to say this.

I worked really, really hard on my marriage and I did not let it go without a fight. I tried very hard to be the wife my husband wanted but no matter what I did it was never, ever good enough. Eventually I had to let him go, it was destroying my mental health and that of my daughter but it wasn't easy and I didn't do it without a lot of prayer. And also in case this sounds bitter towards my husband, he tried his hardest to love me but in the end just didn't have the emotional capacity to be a husband to me or a father to my daughter.

My circumstances may not look that fantastic on the outside but truly I have never been happier.

Again I am sorry that there are no spaces between paragraphs but blogger wont let me (yet again)

I'm kind of scared......

My friend has decided to enter this competion so after some consideration (and excitment) I have as well. Don't know quite what I've let myself in for.


http://www.toughguyandgal.co.nz/

My weight loss transformation and almost fat free Banana Pancakes

I don't have many photos on me at the moment but wanted to show a little before and after, so this will just be of my face, but even then you can see how much has come off.


January 2009 Me at my very biggest

January 2010 (when my Husband seemed like he was going to move home again)

Actually though I'm really glad he's in both the photos because it shows how much my face has shrunk, in the first photo it's way bigger than his and in the second definitely smaller,

I hated myself when I was that fat.I hated to go in public, I hated that nothing fit me and I hated myself for having so little self control and letting myself get as big as a house. Now I feel amazing. I wear pretty much whatever I want, in fact I love clothes and fashion.

It wasn't easy to lose the weight. There was no magic formula and I worked really hard to get there. It meant long hours at the gym and it was hard, when you're dragging around 60 kilos (132 pounds) of excess weight well everything hurts. I often thought I would faint or throw up (I never did) but as the weeks went by it got easier. It also meant going to parties or events and not being able to eat what everyone else did, no chocolate, no desserts and no fried foods.

But you know what?

It was totally worth it. And as far as food was concerned I never went hungry, I would never be one to starve myself, I love food waaaaay too much. Every week I planned a little treat for myself, so one week it would be a chocolate croissant and the next some french fries. Every day I try to eat four pieces of fruit, three serves of dairy, two to four servings of grains and a truckload of veges, also I'm big on water and green tea. Green tea actually really helped cut my cravings for sweet things. I don't go more than a few hours without eating either.

They say support when you're losing weight is crucial but I didn't have any of that. No friends to act as cheerleaders and my sister and mother weren't exactly helpful so instead I watched episodes of The Biggest Loser on YouTube and believe it or not it really spurred me on.

I also had to deal with the emotional issues for why I ate badly and that's something I'm still working on.

Anyway part of the reason why it wasn't so hard to control my eating was because I had really great recipes to spur me on. I don't eat 'diet' food, I try to eat whole foods. I don't touch things with artificial sweeteners and I stay away with anything that has hydrogenated oils (that includes things like diet peanut butter) I do however use low fat dairy products.

Anyway I'm going to try post some low fat/sugar recipes every week. This is one of my favourites.

I love Pancakes, just love them. However my body doesn't love all the fat, sugar and refined carbohydrates that go with them. Also this recipe is really high in fibre, I have only given enough for one serving so just increase for how many people you are making them for.

High Fibre Banana Pancakes

Ingredients

1/2 cup of Wheat Bran

1/3 cup skim milk

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp vanilla essense

3 egg whites

1/2 banana mashed

Canola oil spray

What to do

Pour wheat bran and milk into a bowl and let stand for one minute, then stir in vanilla and cinnamon. Mix in egg whites and fold in mashed banana. Spray a frying pan or griddle with the canola oil and spoon into pan making five small panckes. Flip after two minutes.

I like to have my pancakes with cinnamon, blueberries and a small drizzle of Maple syrup (the real stuff) not that sugary imation kind.

My last bit of advice. You don't have to be fat on the outside to be fat on the inside.

Honey hand lotion

The ice has been replaced by torrents of rain (again!) and it is so cold here today. I don't have to leave the house until I go to work at three so it's a perfect day to spend the afternoon in the kitchen experimenting with new lotions and things.

I'm very big on hand cream because your hands are one of the first areas to age on your body plus they are highly visible. I like to have a little jar in several places (baby food jars are great) so I dont forget to use it! namely my bag, the car, my room of course and above the kitchen sink.

Here is my favourite recipe, so easy and inexpensive to make but makes your skin feel so soft.

Honey hand lotion

1 t clear honey

2 T almond oil

4 T rosewater

1 t cider vinegar

Place ingredients in a glass jar and shake to combine.

Couldnt be any easier right! The reason I make it in small quantities is because all natural cosmetic products tend to go rancid within a few weeks, you can however prolong them by keep them in the fridge.

My wish list

I woke up this morning and everything was covered in ice! My mum rang me first thing to tell me not to get out of bed as it was too cold!

Well I did get out of bed, I needed to try out a new make-up look that I am going to do this weekend for girl at her formal (prom). I got the idea from dolce candy's blog, I love to watch her tutorials on youtube too

Here it is.......

It may be a tad too much on me for me on a monday morning but too bad I love it anyway :) I teamed it with a Jade top, black satin miniskirt, black leggings and black knee high boots.

Whilst Aviva has been making Maps of European countries, I have been browsing my dream dresses for winter.

If the Purple one was just a few inches longer, it would be perfect! Hope wherever you are it's warmer than it is here and p.s can I come live with you if it is?

The dress up box

It's every girls little dream. A dress up box complete with tutu, her mothers wedding veil, various hats belonging to grandmother and an assortment of shoes, and maybe if shes lucky a feather boa, all held together in a wooden chest.

I didn't have a dress up box and neither did my daughter. When I was a child dressing up was not really high on the priorities list for my mother, she didn't even have the emotional energy to read to us let alone for other creative pursuits but that's o.k because instead I fostered a life long passion for reading instead. And as for my own daughter well fashion of any sort has never appealed to her. She has never shown an interest in the way she looks, I can't even recall a time I've seen her look at herself in the mirror :)

However at the age of twenty six I have decided to create a dress up box for myself!!

It is going to house my many scarves, sari's, pashminas and other thrift shop accessories finds that I seem to come home with.

I'm so in love with scarves at the moment. They make any outfit complete and they are so versatile. You can wind them through your hair, use them as a belt or tie them cutely around your neck. I am a big fan of wearing a pashmina and putting it around my head and shoulders and pairing them with a huge pair of Sunglasses so I can saunter down to the Library or local shops and pretend to a be an incognito celebrity LOL

But seriously they look fantastic with everything, it's really just how to wear them. I might write a post on this too. For under a dollar from any thrift shop they can make a plain outfit look amazing.

I'm becoming a much bigger fan of hats too! I have the cutest selection of beret's that will be making it into the box as well. My proper Lady's hats, have to stay safely in their hat boxes but the other ones will certainly be going in my new chest.

So on the coldest of the winter days (and it's been raining her everyday for well over a month) I can pull out a french lace vintage scarf or sequined beret and add some much needed colour to my day.

I'll post some photos of it all soon, I lent my camera to a friend over a month ago and am yet to get it back.

Hope you had a restful weekend!

Natural beauty

As of yesterday I have my very own laptop, so I can finally start posting on a regular basis-yay!

Fashion, make-up and accessories are a big interest of mine, I like to treat everyday like a special occasion worth dressing up for. Since this is something that I get a lot of comments on from both friends and strangers I have decided it's something I'm going to focus my posts on for now.

I am a qualified Beauty Therapist and worked as one for many years although now I work solely as a make-up artist. So much of my knowledge base with skin products has come from that although I have done my own private research for years now including many, many hours of experimenting. Most of my own recipes or recipes I have picked up come from India in origin. You can easily pick up any of the ingredients in any Indian shop. Indian women tend to have beautiful skin and hair no matter what their income, they use what they have.

Today I'm going to focus just on face masks. I wouldn't be without my weekly Facial, which I will detail more another time, but the face mask is certainly the star of the show. You don't have to spend huge amounts of money to have amazing skin (no matter what any celebrity may tell you) and the recipes I am going to tell you all cost under fifty cents.

Oily Skin

One and a half tablespoons of Sandalwood powder

Tiny pinch of turmeric

Three tablespoons of orange juice

Dry skin

One egg white

One tablespoon of honey

One tablespoon of cream

Normal skin

Two tablespoons of milk powder

Rosewater to mix

Cleansing face mask

2 tablespoons oatmeal

4 tablespoons of whey ( I use the 'water' that separates out of natural yoghurt')

All of these mask recipes you just need to combine and brush on and leave for ten minutes. For best results you should lie down in a lavender scented bath with candles and relaxing music playing ;)

I use the normal skin mask and every time I use it my skin becomes amazingly soft and radiant. Try it for yourself!

* Sorry for the no spaces between anything! Blogger wont let me today......

It's been so long....

Since I've written, hope everyone has been having a wonderful Easter. When I sit back and truly think of it my eyes fill with tears because I can't imagine how someone as perfect as Jesus gave up his life and suffered immensely for someone like me. I also love to contemplate the Apostles joy to see their saviour risen again. How lucky I am to know our Lord

I have had so much to write on lately however the reason I haven't written has been that my Mum became very ill and for a while I honestly thought she was going to die. My life was suddenly filled with long days at the hospital and taking care of her house as well as my own since I am her only child who is at home during the day.

Also I then developed a very bad kidney infection which would just not heal, I am still spending most of the day resting and trying not to stress myself at all so I can recover hence the short post. However don't feel sorry for me!! this has been an amazing time for me where I have begun to sense Jesus presence in my life in a way that I haven't before. Hope to write more soon!

God is good all the time

All the time God is good

Beautiful girlhood

A beautiful excerpt from 'Beautiful Girlhood', my new absolute must have book for any mother who is raising a young daughter.

Making Herself Beautiful

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”* (Proverbs 31:30)

Sometimes, much to my amusement, I read in the magazines those comical letters that girls write to the beauty specialists. If these letters could all be put together into one it would read something like this: “How am I to make myself pretty so that I shall be admired for my good looks? I want to be rid of all my blemishes, my freckles and pug nose and pimples and stringy hair. I would have my hands and arms very shapely, and I would be neither too stout nor too thin. Tell me, Miss Specialist, how to make myself beautiful.” The wise man of old has answered this question in words that are most appropriate: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” Every girl is a lover of beauty. Beautiful homes, beautiful furnishings, beautiful flowers, beautiful fruits, beautiful faces—anything wherein beauty is found, there will be found girls to admire it. From the time her little hands can reach up and her baby lips can lisp the words, she is admiring “pretty things.” And when a little of that beauty is her own her pleasure is unbounded. Every girl longs to be beautiful. There is in woman a nature, as deep as humanity, that compels her to strive for good looks. There is no more forlorn sorrow for a young girl than for her to be convinced that she is hopelessly ugly and undesirable. Oh, the bitter tears that have been shed over freckles or a rough and pimply skin, and the energy that has been expended in painting and powdering and waving and curling herself into beauty!

A desire to be beautiful is not unwomanly. A woman who is not beautiful cannot properly fill her place. But, mark you, true beauty is not of the face, but of the soul. There is a beauty so deep and lasting that it will shine out of the homeliest face and make it comely. This is the beauty to be first sought and admired. It is a quality of the mind and heart and is manifested in word and deed. A happy heart, a smiling face, loving words and deeds, and a desire to be of service, will make any girl beautiful.

A desire to be comely and good to look at is not to be utterly condemned. Beauty of face and form are not given to everyone; but when they are present they may be a blessing, if they are used rightly. But a girl need not feel that her life is blighted if she lack these things. The proper care of her person and dress will make an otherwise homely girl good-looking. What is more disgusting than a slovenly, untidy woman! Her hair disheveled, her face and neck in need of soap and water, her dress in need of repair, her shoes run down, she presents a picture that indeed repels. Though she might have a kind heart and many other desirable qualities, yet her unkept appearance hides them from view. But she who always keeps herself tastefully and tidily dressed and her person clean and neat is attractive and pleasing. Her personal care only increases the charm of her personality. It is to be regretted if any girl lacks a feeling of concern and shame should she be caught in careless and untidy dress. She should take pleasure in keeping herself presentable and attractive, not only when she goes out or receives guests, but for the pleasure of the home folks as well. But when a girl paints and powders till she looks like an advertisement for cosmetics, she shows a foolish heart, which is not beautiful.

In the cloakroom of a certain school a question arose among some girls as to who had the most beautiful hands. The teacher listened to her girls thoughtfully. They compared hands and explained secrets of keeping them pretty. Nettie said that a girl could not keep perfect hands and wash dishes or sweep. Maude spoke of the evil effects of cold and wind and too much sunshine. Stella told of her favorite cold cream. Ethel spoke of proper manicuring. At last the teacher spoke.

“To my mind Jennie Higgins has the most beautiful hands of any girl in school,” she said quietly.
“Jennie Higgins!” exclaimed Nettie in amazement; “why, her hands are rough and red and look as if she took no care of them. I never thought of them as beautiful.”

“I have seen those hands carrying dainty food to the sick, and soothing the brow of the aged. She is her widowed mother’s main help, and she it is who does the milking and carries the wood and water, yes, and washes dishes night and morning, that her mother may be saved the hard work. I have never known her to be too tired to speak kindly to her little sister and help her in her play. I have found those busy hands helping her brother with his kite. I tell you I think they are the most beautiful hands I have ever seen, for they are always busy helping somewhere.”

This is the beauty for which every girl should strive—the beauty that comes from unselfishness and usefulness. Beauty of face and form is secondary in importance, though not to be despised. If used properly, personal beauty is a good gift; but if it turns a girl’s head it becomes a curse to her.

Think of such women as are much spoken of through the public press, or who have achieved noble deeds, as Frances Willard, Florence Nightingale, or Edith Cavel, and consider whether you ever heard if they were pretty or not. No one ever thinks of such trifles when speaking of those who are great of soul. The girl who depends on her pretty face or form for attraction is to be pitied. Those articles in magazines that so exalt the idea of personal beauty are pandering to the lower part of nature. One may be perfectly beautiful so far as that kind of beauty goes, and lack to as great an extent that true beauty which is like a royal diadem upon the head. Those who give much time to increasing their personal charms are living on a lower level than is altogether becoming to womanhood. A beautiful soul shining out of a homely face is far more attractive than a beautiful face out of which looks a soul full of selfishness and coldness.

My little friend, be not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you, take care in dressing yourself and attending to personal neatness, that you may ever appear at your best; untidiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds—but greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face. You cannot see the one for the other. Seek goodness and purity first, then strive to keep the body in harmony with the beauty of the heart. Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service. Let your chief charm be of heart and spirit, not of face and form. Seek the true beauty which lasts even into old age.

Solomon, in one of his wise sayings, expressed plainly the evil that comes to a woman who is beautiful of face but lacks the true beauty of soul. “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”* (Proverbs 11:22) As the swine would plunge the golden jewel into the filth and the mire as he dug in the dirt, so will a pretty woman who is not good drag her beauty down to the very lowest. There are many peculiar temptations to those who are only fair of face. Without true beauty of soul a pretty face is a dangerous gift.

Being real

I've had so many things to write about these past weeks- the vintage aprons we found, the day we made Strawberry jam, the precious moments with my daughter- namely all the moments that make up my life. But I stayed away because if I wasn't going to write the truth then I didn't want to write at all.

The truth is I have spent the last year trying to give myself a physical and emotional make over. Even though I never admitted it deep down I always wondered If I was thinner would he have left me? If only I was kinder, quieter and less opinionated.

I got so many compliments on the way I looked now that I had lost weight and set me up even more with the opinion that yes the reason he left was because of how I looked. At the end of the year I was one protein shake away from an eating disorder and then came Christmas and the return of my Husband into our lives. And so I began to turn back to food, I didn't turn to the Lord I instead to large amounts of junk to fill the huge gaping hole. Now because I am a girl who can literally put on five kilos by even looking at a a pizza this did not bode well for me.

So the last few weeks have been spent on not starving myself or living at the gym but more on eating lots of fruit and veges but more on going on walks with Aviva or getting out on our mountain bikes, I know I have a long way to go but I feel like I'm on the way there now and not hiding in the shadows (with a king size block of chocolate)

One of my favourite singers is JJ Heller and it has been very good for me to just hang out in my room and sing along to her beautiful songs. In particular I have found the lyrics to Love me so uplifting.

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He’s the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night,

“Dear God won’t you please Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me ‘Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means'

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She’s the woman whose husband has run away

She’ll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner Then he would’ve stayed

And she says…Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone

He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said “I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied

I have watched you suffer all of your life

And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for youI will give you the love

The love that you never knew