No more excuses for me!

My coffee date has now turned into a romantic day with me, my husband and the tax man!! They think we (I) owe them thousands of dollars which I certainly do not so it will be an interesting day with Inland Revenue definitely being the third wheel!

Pharez- I will be writing some long posts this weekend and will be adding lots of photos of my weight loss. I was looking at my wedding photos the other day and couldn't believe how much fat had melted off my face.

My babysitter for the gym can no longer take care of Aviva, so I rang the gym and asked (begged) if I could bring her along with me and let her do an hour of reading and school work in one of the small rooms that are not used in off peak hours (this is a tiny gym) so they did more than that, they set one of with a table and chair and toys and books. And they bring her all kinds of things whilst I'm working out (I can view that room from the treadmill) . I have no excuses now! I am in my first 10 km (6-7 mile) run/walk next month but I have a feeling I will be mostly walking :)

I'm sorry if I don't reply or write back all the time it's just that I usually only have 20 minutes on the computer. But it looks like next month I will be back online at home! (you have no idea how literally ecstatic I am at that fact)

I'm so excited!!

I have been praying this day would come for six months now. Next week my husband and I are going out for coffee, he said he wants to spend some time with me and he has missed me! now I am trying desperately to not get my hopes up but running through my mind is 'what should I wear? which shoes go with that? does this mean he wants to come home?'. I feel like a teenager going on her first date ever.

Now I know it could mean nothing but there is always hope! Hope is what I have clinged to for months, it is what has kept me going when I felt like giving up and now hope may transform my life. I know I shouldn't be getting overly excited but I just can't help myself.It's like I see the first glimmer of light in a long time.

Anyway I had better go now and rip apart my wardrobe and try on a zillion outfits. Also need to create a running play in my head of things to say (and not say). This may not turn out exactly the way I am hoping but at least there is the possibility.

God is so good!

I'm sorry this post is so short (and kind of pathetic) but i'm just so excited :) and can't sit still!

Fun in winter :)

This winter has been the coldest in my town for over fifty years, at nights Aviva and I retreat my my room very early and sit with our books by the heater. We have really been enjoying pioneering type books and it has been a good opportunity to teach Aviva more about cross stitch and knitting. We have also been faithfully out in the garden this last week planting the rest of the tulips and daffodils, I can't wait until spring comes and they transform the whole garden!!

Also my Above Rubies arrived this week and Aviva and I were almost jumping up and down with excitement :) We read it cover to cover sitting under my quilt, and then talked about the stories for about an hour afterwards. My favourite story was called "my milk miracle' and talked so much about Gods faithfulness and providence. Obviously being a single mother with no job and no financial support from my family I struggle at times, but God always steps in at the last moment. We have never been able to not pay a bill and have never been without food (he even arranged a gym membership for me in exchange for me tutoring a teenager :) )

I hopefully will have a computer at some time as well, my blog is looking very boring with no photos or anything (and that's because I have to use the computer at the library) I look like I've been very lazy in comparison with some people's Amazing blogs!

I have also spent my spare time coming up with some gorgeous homemade masks, exfoliates and hair treatments. Yesterday I made my first batch of honey and rose hand lotion and coconut lip balm. I honestly wanted to eat them! I will write the recipes next time because they are inexpensive, natural and with fantastic results. I often spend a Saturday night tucked away in the bathroom having a spa day (or night) and now I can do it for a fraction of the price. I knew my beauty therapy diploma would come in use one day :)

Back again!

It seems like everything has been conspiring against me to stop me writing on my blog, and I have so much to say! first we went away to Taupo for a family reunion, then I came down with a bad flu and then the Internet had major connection problems. But I am here now and busy setting up my weight loss blog :)

I had mixed feelings about going to the family reunion but forced myself to go because I haven't seen some of my cousins for about five years. Driving there I had started to feel a bit upset because in the back seat with my daughter feeling very much like a teenager again (apart from the having a seven year old part) because I knew it just was not right, I should have been sitting in the front with my husband talking and laughing and singing songs.

We arrived and my flu was just beginning to show up, and at that point a cousin of mine turned up with the woman he left his wife for and the new born baby they had conceived whilst he was still living with his wife. I guess it was at that point I lost it, I went to bed at six o clock blaming my flu for my tiredness (which was true) and then proceeded to cry and cry for hours until I finally fell asleep.

The next day Aviva and I went for a walk along the lake which was beautiful and there was not a person in sight and I felt happy for a while. But later I just fell apart again, and again and again. The amount of times I had to wash my face in very cold water to take down the swelling and redo my make-up was an embarrassingly large number, but luckily no one realized I was even slightly upset so I must have done a good job. But in the time I was crying out to God, he was there one hundred percent and I realized that God's provisions for you grow the more you need him. And I am coming to know more that there are going to be times that I will fall apart but that in the end I will be OK, God will take care of it!

I had a great time on the Saturday afternoon taking care of another cousins baby and watching the family pool competition and it was good to take my mind off it, in the evening I read the book of Ruth (again) because I never get tired of it and the hope it brings me.

And the ride home was not so bad as the first as I mostly listened to Third Day whilst Aviva slept and then stopped for lunch in some picturesque tea rooms. I was so happy to be home with my lovely bed and deep bath and peppermint tea and fresh salads (instead of the food I had with my family which consisted of many, many carbohydrates and saturated fat) there is nothing like sleeping in a tin shed which passes itself off as a cabin to make yourself realize just how good you have it!

When I got back I called my Pastor and she told me that for separated or divorced women family reunions are incredibly hard, at it was at the time but I am glad I went to it because I proved to myself that even if at the time it feels like I am going to fall apart, God knows just how to put me back together.

Role models

I don't really think I thought much about role models for my daughter in her early years (fictional or otherwise). I wish now I had spoken more about certain attributes that Godly women I knew possessed however since I didn't become a Christian until my daughter was nearly four and spent most of my spare time in various feminist groups that I was the leader of in some cases (I think that this is another post entirely) so finding Godly role models wasn't quite top of the list of my priorities.

Now that I know what I do I can say with absolute conviction that it is never too early to start verbally expressing admiration for Godly ,feminine character traits in other women and that includes fictional characters as well. Aviva's role model is Anne of green gables both in the books and DVDs, she even dresses just like her with straw hats, long cotton petticoats under pretty dresses and neatly braided hair. This produces teasing from some other children but Aviva just doesn't care. In a society that teaches girls to look up to celebrities such as Hannah Montana (which ironically is someone who my six year old niece looks up to greatly) wearing long beautiful dresses and acting femininely is out of the ordinary.Anne was definitely not a shrinking violet and she always stood up for what was right, she was brave and inspiring and perhaps that is what mostly attracts Aviva. Below I have put two photos of both Anne and Hannah Montana to just contrast them and show what the world tells us is beautiful.

There is no denying that Hannah Montana is an attractive girl but Anne is truly lovely.I would be interested to know who your or your daughters female role models are and why?

I am finally back!

Finally I am back online!! My sister has returned to work and has asked me to look after her baby whilst her partner coaches his sports team, so here I am except the baby sleeps all the time which just leaves me with time to write on my blog and more importantly catch up on other ladies inspiration blogs.

Things with me are going well, to be honest this is never the life I imagined I would have at 25. I imagined sweet babies asleep under blankets I had knitted, days spent teaching my children at home, afternoons baking and a husband who came home at the same time after work. However I am also very grateful that God always has a plan B. I watched "Love comes softly' written of course by Janette Oake but on DVD (which I thought was portrayed beautifully) And it really reinforced that our lives may not go according to what we have planned but that doesn't mean God doesn't have something else equally amazing in plan for us.

Aviva and I have been having a great winter so far. Nights spent under quilts watching Anne of green gables, afternoons in our kitchen baking rye bread, eating minestrone soup whilst listening to huge hailstorms, splashing in puddles and thanking God that all water usage in my City is free, Friday nights eating pizza and reading little women.I have so, so much to be grateful for.I have such a blessed life compared to many!

I have also lost nearly 40 pounds now and I feel so, so great. My old lethargy is gone and I look so forward to dance classes every Tuesday night! I will write more soon about how I have managed to achieve this :) But for now I have to check on the baby and get things ready for tonight's prayer group :)

I also hope there are not too many typos in this post, I'm not used to typing on a laptop!

What we've been up to

The days seem to pass so quickly at the moment, I guess because it is winter and the nights are becoming darker much earlier. Aviva and I have been so busy! We managed to buy a huge amounts of books very cheaply lately so have been sitting by the heater and just reading in the evenings.I love to finish of the day by reading Psalms and so Aviva had taken it upon herself to memorize the book of Psalms, I thought this somewhat a bit much for her but then thought who am I to discourage this, so away she goes day by day and it is beautiful to hear.

Last week Aviva, my Mum and I went off to see the Monet exhibition and given half the chance I would have stayed there all week. I have read various books on Monet's paintings but no photo can ever give them justice. They were so amazingly beautiful and his use of colour literally took my breath away. Lately I have found myself daydreaming about his paintings :)

And today I stand two months after I started my plan to change my weight, 22 pounds lighter and two dress sizes down. I have people commenting how did you do it? And this is something that I will be writing a lot more about in the future but last night I attended my first dance class, it was so much fun!! I am still at the beginning of my journey in losing weight really but I have realised it doesn't have to be a hard and boring journey!

I am having so much fun catching up on every ones blogs! I continue to feel so grateful to catch glimpses of such beautiful lives that bring such honor and glory to God.