Back again!

It seems like everything has been conspiring against me to stop me writing on my blog, and I have so much to say! first we went away to Taupo for a family reunion, then I came down with a bad flu and then the Internet had major connection problems. But I am here now and busy setting up my weight loss blog :)

I had mixed feelings about going to the family reunion but forced myself to go because I haven't seen some of my cousins for about five years. Driving there I had started to feel a bit upset because in the back seat with my daughter feeling very much like a teenager again (apart from the having a seven year old part) because I knew it just was not right, I should have been sitting in the front with my husband talking and laughing and singing songs.

We arrived and my flu was just beginning to show up, and at that point a cousin of mine turned up with the woman he left his wife for and the new born baby they had conceived whilst he was still living with his wife. I guess it was at that point I lost it, I went to bed at six o clock blaming my flu for my tiredness (which was true) and then proceeded to cry and cry for hours until I finally fell asleep.

The next day Aviva and I went for a walk along the lake which was beautiful and there was not a person in sight and I felt happy for a while. But later I just fell apart again, and again and again. The amount of times I had to wash my face in very cold water to take down the swelling and redo my make-up was an embarrassingly large number, but luckily no one realized I was even slightly upset so I must have done a good job. But in the time I was crying out to God, he was there one hundred percent and I realized that God's provisions for you grow the more you need him. And I am coming to know more that there are going to be times that I will fall apart but that in the end I will be OK, God will take care of it!

I had a great time on the Saturday afternoon taking care of another cousins baby and watching the family pool competition and it was good to take my mind off it, in the evening I read the book of Ruth (again) because I never get tired of it and the hope it brings me.

And the ride home was not so bad as the first as I mostly listened to Third Day whilst Aviva slept and then stopped for lunch in some picturesque tea rooms. I was so happy to be home with my lovely bed and deep bath and peppermint tea and fresh salads (instead of the food I had with my family which consisted of many, many carbohydrates and saturated fat) there is nothing like sleeping in a tin shed which passes itself off as a cabin to make yourself realize just how good you have it!

When I got back I called my Pastor and she told me that for separated or divorced women family reunions are incredibly hard, at it was at the time but I am glad I went to it because I proved to myself that even if at the time it feels like I am going to fall apart, God knows just how to put me back together.