Beautiful girlhood

A beautiful excerpt from 'Beautiful Girlhood', my new absolute must have book for any mother who is raising a young daughter.

Making Herself Beautiful

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”* (Proverbs 31:30)

Sometimes, much to my amusement, I read in the magazines those comical letters that girls write to the beauty specialists. If these letters could all be put together into one it would read something like this: “How am I to make myself pretty so that I shall be admired for my good looks? I want to be rid of all my blemishes, my freckles and pug nose and pimples and stringy hair. I would have my hands and arms very shapely, and I would be neither too stout nor too thin. Tell me, Miss Specialist, how to make myself beautiful.” The wise man of old has answered this question in words that are most appropriate: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” Every girl is a lover of beauty. Beautiful homes, beautiful furnishings, beautiful flowers, beautiful fruits, beautiful faces—anything wherein beauty is found, there will be found girls to admire it. From the time her little hands can reach up and her baby lips can lisp the words, she is admiring “pretty things.” And when a little of that beauty is her own her pleasure is unbounded. Every girl longs to be beautiful. There is in woman a nature, as deep as humanity, that compels her to strive for good looks. There is no more forlorn sorrow for a young girl than for her to be convinced that she is hopelessly ugly and undesirable. Oh, the bitter tears that have been shed over freckles or a rough and pimply skin, and the energy that has been expended in painting and powdering and waving and curling herself into beauty!

A desire to be beautiful is not unwomanly. A woman who is not beautiful cannot properly fill her place. But, mark you, true beauty is not of the face, but of the soul. There is a beauty so deep and lasting that it will shine out of the homeliest face and make it comely. This is the beauty to be first sought and admired. It is a quality of the mind and heart and is manifested in word and deed. A happy heart, a smiling face, loving words and deeds, and a desire to be of service, will make any girl beautiful.

A desire to be comely and good to look at is not to be utterly condemned. Beauty of face and form are not given to everyone; but when they are present they may be a blessing, if they are used rightly. But a girl need not feel that her life is blighted if she lack these things. The proper care of her person and dress will make an otherwise homely girl good-looking. What is more disgusting than a slovenly, untidy woman! Her hair disheveled, her face and neck in need of soap and water, her dress in need of repair, her shoes run down, she presents a picture that indeed repels. Though she might have a kind heart and many other desirable qualities, yet her unkept appearance hides them from view. But she who always keeps herself tastefully and tidily dressed and her person clean and neat is attractive and pleasing. Her personal care only increases the charm of her personality. It is to be regretted if any girl lacks a feeling of concern and shame should she be caught in careless and untidy dress. She should take pleasure in keeping herself presentable and attractive, not only when she goes out or receives guests, but for the pleasure of the home folks as well. But when a girl paints and powders till she looks like an advertisement for cosmetics, she shows a foolish heart, which is not beautiful.

In the cloakroom of a certain school a question arose among some girls as to who had the most beautiful hands. The teacher listened to her girls thoughtfully. They compared hands and explained secrets of keeping them pretty. Nettie said that a girl could not keep perfect hands and wash dishes or sweep. Maude spoke of the evil effects of cold and wind and too much sunshine. Stella told of her favorite cold cream. Ethel spoke of proper manicuring. At last the teacher spoke.

“To my mind Jennie Higgins has the most beautiful hands of any girl in school,” she said quietly.
“Jennie Higgins!” exclaimed Nettie in amazement; “why, her hands are rough and red and look as if she took no care of them. I never thought of them as beautiful.”

“I have seen those hands carrying dainty food to the sick, and soothing the brow of the aged. She is her widowed mother’s main help, and she it is who does the milking and carries the wood and water, yes, and washes dishes night and morning, that her mother may be saved the hard work. I have never known her to be too tired to speak kindly to her little sister and help her in her play. I have found those busy hands helping her brother with his kite. I tell you I think they are the most beautiful hands I have ever seen, for they are always busy helping somewhere.”

This is the beauty for which every girl should strive—the beauty that comes from unselfishness and usefulness. Beauty of face and form is secondary in importance, though not to be despised. If used properly, personal beauty is a good gift; but if it turns a girl’s head it becomes a curse to her.

Think of such women as are much spoken of through the public press, or who have achieved noble deeds, as Frances Willard, Florence Nightingale, or Edith Cavel, and consider whether you ever heard if they were pretty or not. No one ever thinks of such trifles when speaking of those who are great of soul. The girl who depends on her pretty face or form for attraction is to be pitied. Those articles in magazines that so exalt the idea of personal beauty are pandering to the lower part of nature. One may be perfectly beautiful so far as that kind of beauty goes, and lack to as great an extent that true beauty which is like a royal diadem upon the head. Those who give much time to increasing their personal charms are living on a lower level than is altogether becoming to womanhood. A beautiful soul shining out of a homely face is far more attractive than a beautiful face out of which looks a soul full of selfishness and coldness.

My little friend, be not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you, take care in dressing yourself and attending to personal neatness, that you may ever appear at your best; untidiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds—but greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face. You cannot see the one for the other. Seek goodness and purity first, then strive to keep the body in harmony with the beauty of the heart. Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service. Let your chief charm be of heart and spirit, not of face and form. Seek the true beauty which lasts even into old age.

Solomon, in one of his wise sayings, expressed plainly the evil that comes to a woman who is beautiful of face but lacks the true beauty of soul. “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”* (Proverbs 11:22) As the swine would plunge the golden jewel into the filth and the mire as he dug in the dirt, so will a pretty woman who is not good drag her beauty down to the very lowest. There are many peculiar temptations to those who are only fair of face. Without true beauty of soul a pretty face is a dangerous gift.

Because every girl needs to shine

While out shopping yesterday Aviva and I came upon these shoes at a very good price so I brought them for her and she has been so happy ever since, people keep telling her she looks just like Dorothy :) Aviva has never been a 'girly' girl but today as I watched her running down the hill her shawl wrapped around her shoulders, her hair streaming behind her, her sparkly shoes reflecting the sunlight and her laughter echoing behind her I am reminded that my little girl is quickly growing up and becoming a young lady.

Blink and you miss it right?

I am reminded that every moment with our children is so incredibly precious. Every moment should aways count.

But that's not the end of my shoe story...


I brought some to match!!

Which just goes to show that inside every grown woman is a little girl who loves to still play dress ups.

Role models

I don't really think I thought much about role models for my daughter in her early years (fictional or otherwise). I wish now I had spoken more about certain attributes that Godly women I knew possessed however since I didn't become a Christian until my daughter was nearly four and spent most of my spare time in various feminist groups that I was the leader of in some cases (I think that this is another post entirely) so finding Godly role models wasn't quite top of the list of my priorities.

Now that I know what I do I can say with absolute conviction that it is never too early to start verbally expressing admiration for Godly ,feminine character traits in other women and that includes fictional characters as well. Aviva's role model is Anne of green gables both in the books and DVDs, she even dresses just like her with straw hats, long cotton petticoats under pretty dresses and neatly braided hair. This produces teasing from some other children but Aviva just doesn't care. In a society that teaches girls to look up to celebrities such as Hannah Montana (which ironically is someone who my six year old niece looks up to greatly) wearing long beautiful dresses and acting femininely is out of the ordinary.Anne was definitely not a shrinking violet and she always stood up for what was right, she was brave and inspiring and perhaps that is what mostly attracts Aviva. Below I have put two photos of both Anne and Hannah Montana to just contrast them and show what the world tells us is beautiful.

There is no denying that Hannah Montana is an attractive girl but Anne is truly lovely.I would be interested to know who your or your daughters female role models are and why?

Isn't that brainwashing?

Yesterday I went for dinner at a friends house and that friend had other friends there as well, Somehow the discussion got onto families with large amounts of children and when I started talking about how this was the desire of my heart I had one women remark to me that I would need lots of bedrooms.I told her that many of my friends with large amounts of children have only three or four bedrooms and she was shocked at what would happen when they were teenagers. I told her that many home schooled teenagers from large families don't have huge issues over personal space and many of the girls I know prefer to spend their time at home acquiring homemaking skills and helping with the smaller children. She then told me "that's obvious brainwashing" as some of the others nodded their heads in agreement.

Brainwashing? was she serious? indeed she was. She didn't think the fact that many young girls who dressed just like they do on MTV was brainwashing nor was the fact the promiscuous behaviour is actually encouraged amongst pre teens. After all that's normal behaviour isn't it? For a male isn't being horribly drunk to the point of unconsciousness just a rite of passage for a sixteenth birthday? As long as they have enough space and privacy to do what they want behind closed doors then they will be just fine.

The culture of young girls in this country makes me want to cry. I see week after week teenage girls turning up to church in tight jeans and singlets, in their spare time they read 'Dolly' and 'Girlfriend' magazine all included with helpful articles on contraception and how to 'snag a boyfriend' the pages are filled with girls in tiny bikinis in the arms of a muscular youth, another favourite of these girls is YouTube where they can watch secular music videos where women dressed just like prostitutes sing about needing a man to fulfill their sexual desires. But again this isn't brainwashing.It's all normal, healthy behaviour for a teenager. It's what we should just expect.

She ended her little spiel with "as long as they're happy that's all that matters".

Making a mess

I am always astounded by the amount of mothers who will not teach their children to cook because they are worried about the mess. They know that it is an important skill but at the same time they can't be bothered cleaning it up afterwards. When I ask them why not get the children to help tidy up they often reply "It's faster to do it myself". We are now approaching a generation of girls who cannot cook, sew or clean properly. I know all this because my sisters and I were those girls.


My daughter loves nothing more to cook and bake. She can make the perfect loaf of bread, many salads and if watched carefully is developing a real talent for cookies and muffins.Yesterday in a bid to use of some of the excess courgettes we decided to make cheese and courgette scones. Aviva made them while I just watched and offered advice.


Aviva rolling out the scone dough

Cheese and courgette scones

Cooking and cleaning are never a drudgery for me. I truly love being in the warm kitchen in my apron singing and kneading out bread or hanging out the washing on a beautiful morning. And usually wherever I go so does Aviva. Whilst I hang the washing she feeds the rabbit when I fold the washing so does she. I pray I am cultivating a love and being at home because really there is no place in the world I would rather be. When you develop a joyful heart for your home your daughters are always watching and listening. Let them see and hear an attitude of love for your home.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 15:13

Sugar and spice and all things nice

Don't you just love having a daughter? I must admit my whole pregnancy I was praying hard for a girl, I know that you are not supposed to care but I wanted a wee girl so badly!

There are times when I get frustrated and upset with her (doesn't every mother) but for the most part she makes me so incredibly happy and proud of her. She makes me laugh like no one else and is the best person to go shopping with! Yesterday I tried on a pair of shoes and she said to me 'Mummy you look stunning!' I just couldn't imagine my husband getting that excited over a pair of shoes ;).

She is such a beautiful,spirited girl, she never,ever shows a temper towards me, is always willing to help and has such empathy for others. I praise God for the day that he gave me such a precious gift in Aviva (which is the hebrew word for spring) Charity (which is a quality she certainly seems to be developing!). Children truly are such a blessing from the lord.

A little girl follows me

I found this sweet little poem which was just so true to my heart, I am going to put it on my fridge as a reminder that my little girl really does hear and see everything I do. From how courteous I am to strangers to how I handle myself when angry or upset.

” A careful woman I ought to be:
A little girl follows me;
I do not dare to go a stray
For fear she’ll go the self-same way.
I cannot once escape her eyes;
What’re she sees me do, she tries
Like me, she says, she ’s going to be,
The little girl who follows me.
She thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine;
The base in me she must not see,
The little girl who follows me.
I must remember as I go,
Through summer’s sun and winter’s snow,
I am building for the years to be,
For a little girl follows me. “

Author: unknown

Training our children

When I moved out of home for the first time I really had acquired very little skills in the way of homemaking. I knew how to cook exactly two meals and couldn't sew on a button to save my life. If you had asked me how to launder sheets I would have given you a blank stare. I cannot blame my mother for this, she worked full time and was probably just to exhausted to use her time and energy when it was faster just to do it herself.

Without knowing it I had adopted the same thinking with my own daughter, which is a common attitude to have in our society, not only that but I have heard time after time parents say to me that 'kids should be kids'. It was whilst I was reading a copy of Above Rubies that I realised what a huge disservice I was actually giving my daughter (aged seven). Without realising it I was teaching her qualities of selfishness and laziness as well as an attitude of dependence. When you give a child a chance to be a part of a family unit by contributing they thrive! It is so much easier to start earlier, comparing an enthusiastic toddler to a spoiled teenager it is not hard to guess which one is more likely to enjoy the task.

We started at this year with our first task as dusting, once that was a learned skill we advanced. I am now so proud to say that my darling daughter can now vacuum the house,clean the toilet and bathroom, cook very simple meals, fold the washing, wash and put away the dishes, mop the floor and of course dust. She can also make bread from start to finish and is now learning a passion for cross stitch and gardening. Of course she does not do all of these jobs everyday mostly two or three, but what a blessing it has become to the entire family. In my heart I rejoice knowing that when she leaves this house one day on the day of her wedding she will know how to faithfully serve and take care of her husband and children.

Today one of my rewards came in the form of praise, As my darling girl said to me ' You are the best Mummy in the world for teaching me all these things, no Mummy is better than you. You always teach me new things'. She really is truly grateful for learning these new skills and abilities. As I listened to her singing 'I'm cleaning this house for Jesus' as she folded the clothes I knew she was beginning to develop the blessed gift of a servants heart for our lord.