A letter to myself

This has been a really hard week for me, in many respects. You know just when you think you're over it? I found on Monday that my husband (and we are still officially married) has a girlfriend and has had one for some time, even when we were together.

When I first saw the photos I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, for the first few days I pretty much just stayed in bed and cried, I didn't eat and I barely slept and it was really hard. I just couldn't think why he chose her and not me.

But then I remembered a few things

Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one you have with yourself

Don't glorify the past

What do I believe about myself that I would think I would honestly deserve someone who lies, cheats , left me when I was pregnant and continues to cause pain and destruction

Leaving Carrie Underwood Cd's on repeat is an excellent idea ;)

Another thing I did this morning is write a long letter to myself from a year from now. So in theory writing about the awesome things that will happen a year from now. I will leave some excerpts from it, but not all cause some of it is kind of embarrassing :)

The point in your life of meeting O was so that you actually learned to live your life, instead of waiting to get married so that your life was complete. And live it you will!!
One day you are going to meet the most amazing man that you wont believe he is actually real. This man opens doors for you, makes you laugh and arranges picnics on the beach at sunset. He loves the Lord, loves Aviva and would willingly die for you both. But because he is so awesome he deserves a whole person and not half of one. And that is who you are going to become, I promise.

So sweetheart get up out of that bed, tidy your room and paint your nails. Because you are only going to regret this time wasted over him one day, he doesn’t deserve it and your life is soon going to become to fantastic that it will replace all the painful times that ever happened to you. Remember that time that that woman wrote to you and told you that the Lord will replace what the Locusts had eaten. Well that was totally a prophetic word to you if ever there was one.

So chin up! I can’t wait until you see what your future brings, The Lord has his own amazing surprises for you! Just wait and see.

I so hope that in writing this that I can encourage one day anyone else going through the same kind of pain. God is so good, and his love truly does endure forever.